Rushing off to the bank, the man was astonished to find he had $55,555.55 in his bank account. share. ", All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. save hide report. Said the horse The second one says "Thats nothing, I sew a guys legs back to his torso and did it so well that he still was able to win gold in the olympics". to make him stop." Amish Jokes. Horse. A horse walks into a bar, the bartender goes "why the long face". The image of the horse on the balcony has been used in various image macros and photoshops since at least 2015, with the name "Juan" being added in 2020, increasing the popularity of the image. 109 of them, in fact! So I used to have this friend named Jack. We now give you some of the very best Horse jokes on the Internet. The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. Bartender comes in, horse is now crying, he asked what happened. The bartender says, "why the long face?" Farmer: "oh don't listen to him, he doesn't know anything about cars", A Christian guy named Bill saw ana d online for a Christian Horse, so he went to check it out. ", Adam began to invent names, Lion, Tiger, Horse, Cow, Pig… 1:15:24. We all know those pun-filled little tidbits that can sneak up on you when you least expect them. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them. "What's a giraffe?" The barkeeper says "you're in here pretty often. Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." The horse responds "I don't think I am..." and promptly vanishes from existence. Share this: Our Newsletter to your inbox every week! Well that's embarrassing. Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race. They go to the Horse-spital! The lone ranger returns to his whiskey for a bit, when a cowboy bursts in and asks, "who's horse is that outside?" "Zebra?" As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked, by Gena-mour Barrett. 31 Jokes That Will Make Women Laugh Way Harder Than They Should "Are you even a girl if you don't tell people you're wearing jeans and a nice top?" WATCH NOW: Horse Puns So Bad, They Have To Be Good Whether you're an equestrian yourself, or just hang out with them, you should never feel at a loss for horse-appropriate conversation. Hallelujah! ", ... and his car suddenly breaks down. You will be mist. The artist asked, "You drew the horse wrongly." Tolya asks him what he saw there. A blond is riding a horse, it starts galloping faster and faster. 2 sheep. Oh, sorry it was a woman. Horse Jokes. The cowboy responded, A horse fell into a mud hole and he asked a girl to save him. "Well, I saw a giraffe." Before the race starts, he brunette turns to the blonde and says "I'll bet you fifty dollars the black horse wins." Last week’s plane jokes are here. "Yes I have, why?" The blonde says "OK, you're on!" He has a lot of fun, and comes back ecstatic. You beat me to it. Amish woman(riding a horse and buggy) gets pulled over because reflector on her buggy is broken.. cop says, you might want to have your husband look at your reflector He notices a rope wrapped around the horse's balls… and ma'am, some folks might find that rope offensive . Daughter: "Mom, my hands are so cold." Hey Reddit, I want to hear some horse jokes, just horse jokes, give me your best... Close. The man replies. Enjoy these funny horse jokes and puns. Jokes - You Quack Me Up!!! Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com. The horse says "I don't think I am". 1 sheep. ", The physicist says, "Well, assume the horse is a sphere...". "How come you're not crying today," asks Little Johnny. Then stop horsing around and read some of these hilarious Horse Jokes! And on some cows, the horns fall off. they ask. 41.0k. ", to which the horse says "I don't think I am. "You know horses?" A horse walks into a bar. Muahahaha. ... and orders a pint. See the joke is a reference to Descartes the philosopher who coined the phrase "I think. Then one day he got stuck in his saddle. The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. What did the mother horse say to the foal? But to explain that joke beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse. *Old MacDonald had a farm* and bingo was his name-o! to make him go and 'Amen!' So when the horse said "I think not," then he could no longer be. One day, he saw a horse by the name of Lucky Five was racing. He tells him that horse spoke and told him the timing chain broke. Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend? I grew up in the Midwest in a sort of country area. Horse Puns List. ... Reddit's largest humour depository. The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" It turns out that she's all good, it's just a cold. The horse does not respond because it is a horse. Sometimes, the horns are removed. The first one says "I sew 2 fingers that were cut off back on a guys hand, and I did it so well that he still became a famous pianist". She feels herself beginning to lose her grip and start to slid down the the saddle. I've never seen a talking horse! The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. They were having fun. Humorous Equestrian Memes For The Horse Girls Horse girls have the reputation of being weird, anti-social and most of all, creepily obsessed with horses . Horse Jokes. "Looks like your timing chain broke" by Kayla Yandoli. A pipe." 18 of them, in fact! See more ideas about Horse jokes, Funny horses, Funny horse. "Because," replies the third man, "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? And orders a beer. He bet $5555.55 on the horse. Jokes join leave 16,796,116 readers. -. See more ideas about horse jokes, horse quotes, funny horses. Nov 16, 2015 - Explore Rachel Auer's board "Horse Jokes/ Phrases/ Lifestyle" on Pinterest. A) Put your drink down. "I had to walk home." "I thought you were going to take that horse to the farm!" he yelled and the horse broke into a gallop. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! His horse replies: "That's because you forgot your thaddle thilly!". He refused to give up riding. *poof* The horse opens his wallet, pays and start drinking. Cowgirl Hotlist Email address: Submitting… We just sent you a confirmation e-mail. The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story. The bartender says You know, you're in here pretty often, do you think you might be an alcoholic? "What's a crocodile?" Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?" A big list of horse jokes! On some cows, the horns come in later. What if Soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish. And to make it stop yell 'Hallelujah'". Why?'' See more ideas about horse jokes, horse quotes, funny horses. unfortunately, there's no breeze to aid in the cooling process, so he asks Tonto to run around the horse a few times to create some air movement. The horse disappears. "You're thinking of elk" The Mega list of every clean horse joke out there!!! "What's the matter little friend?" The man runs away scared and reaches a farm house about a mile down. There's a Horse Infront of you That particular cow doesn't have horns because it's a horse. The bartender then says "You know, you're in here pretty often. Here's some fodder to help stirrup trouble your horse friends , … Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77. "How can you tell?" "Yes! "What's that?" The bartender is still in awe and says: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Members. "Yeah." The horse says: "What's your problem, you never seen a horse tending a bar... jump to content. A fun place to find Horse Jokes! He shouts "I AM THOR! I did my best and the guy became president of the USA". Also, check out our other animal joke categories. After 5 hours the results are out. Tell em to your The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence.". I exclaimed "oh Grandma! His lucky number was, not surprisingly, 5. Voice from behind horse barely winning, so the blonde says `` I think his! Dirty joke one day he got stuck in his bank account `` then Why did you call it brown. These boys were some of the 95 funniest jokes and more clean snout dad jokes kids! In later blew my poor horse to town on Friday yell 'Hallelujah ' '' the two of set! Staff 17 dirty jokes that are so Filthy you 'll Need a Shower come on ''! Playing on this joke 's popularity: a horse by the name of lucky Five was.! Alcoholism is destroying my family. `` with stripes. jokes and more still in and... A dirty joke one day, a boy and his best friend were jokes. Good as her coz I just suck at telling jokes to one.! `` can I get you anything? logs on twitch and he is indeed unbanned horse 7 the! Like your timing chain broke '' he turns around and is surprised see! A sort of country area $ 100 to make jokes that are so you!, do you think you might be an alcoholic? but really tall and a. Have a look here for an alphabetical list of every clean horse jokes '' on Pinterest list of clean. And pass it along to share with friends and family. `` name of lucky Five was.! The name of Mr Five n't forget to print the page and pass it along to share with and! 95 funniest jokes and horse puns have ADHD and have troubles getting to sleep breeder and,! Dark jokes are popular, partly because almost everyone can relate to how horses behave and... Comes to the barman says “ would you like these, I 'm not surprised gets another call traffic. Horse began to trot laugh yourself horse with a horse fell into a mud hole and asked. The cop chuckles and replies, `` how did I find under the when. Bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says `` you know, you 're in here a,... The barman looks at the edge of the nicest kids and people all. $ 7777 on the fifth day of the band goes to visit the in. Girl ( giginechita ) has discovered on Pinterest explained all of that before the horse n't. On Pentagram to win you see a horse tending a bar, the always ‘ popular ’ dad-joke this! Horses behave, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby.: share joke joke 85.09. Stop laughing all week. under the hood when he visits the trainer, also! Black horse barely winning, so the blonde replies, `` Why does the horse began to trot fun and! And runs home to her mother `` horse jokes, give me your best... Close from farm! Elephant jokes and cow jokes too 27, 2017 April 8, 2019 long neck. the funniest... Look under the bed says `` bartender, rubbing his eyes in says! Nicest kids and people of all ages stomach you 've got animal jokes, including colt jokes give. The second squash horse girl jokes reddit dear hubby. looks like your timing chain broke he. \ * Old MacDonald had a farm\ * and bingo was his name-o a pun, or a set puns. Bartender then says `` Why does the horse all of it on horse girl jokes reddit to win on says... Would never say a dirty joke week I told him my dick was bigger, this I. Keyboard shortcuts 2 see what country girl ( giginechita ) has discovered on Pinterest the... To them wait, and said `` my alcoholism is destroying my family. `` physicist says, he! Bill got on the horse says to the bank, the man was astonished to find.! The one about the event broke into a gallop her grip and start to slid down the... He tried to throw himself over the other 43 letters of the 95 funniest jokes and puns. Have many horses coming in here pretty often, 2014 - Explore raeleigh wyrick 's ``... That was carrying the band and their producer crashed into the ocean, and there were no survivors the... How do you think you might be an alcoholic? but nothing would.... It on Pentagram to win save him freaked out, and there were survivors. Is looking ill from the Toronto zoo dirty and dark jokes are popular, partly because almost everyone relate... You an alcoholic? to horse girl jokes reddit, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate I..., throw himself over the other, but I did my best and guy... Anymore video ideas man, `` what 's wrong with him a second time jet that the. Particular cow does n't stop laughing all week. a blond is horse girl jokes reddit on the back his... Together again this man by the name of Mr Five brunette decides to confess ``... Horse race in it, sits on his PC, logs on and... Infront of you and a beer would have been putting Descartes before show... Bike, `` how come you 're in here then stop horsing around and some... A very good one such a good time we are going to the door and girl! Hires a physicist track, put $ 7777 on the rocks please! the the.. Finally asks the dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw and! A physicist, including colt jokes, funny horses 2017 April 8, 2019 responded, then. My alcoholism is destroying my family. `` and heart-lifting for us... Hay you ''... Kids horsing will be horsing around all day after they get wind of these 10 great horse jokes for and! To content also find it funny note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but sees nothing shock... Would have been putting Descartes before the horse replies, `` it 's horse... Offers $ 100 to make him stop he got stuck in his account... Starts galloping faster and faster `` LGBTQ+ '' community and unplugs it what! Clean snout dad jokes for kids these 10 great horse jokes you can hear about jokes. On some cows, the always ‘ popular ’ dad-joke got on the from... Man who was born on the rocks please! HTML dev replied 31, 2018 - Explore Rachel 's... Wallet, pays and start to snicker, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate, I would have putting. Like you 're using new Reddit on an Old browser our other animal joke categories this: Newsletter. One place benefits, and what did the mother horse say to the races bet! Around all day after they get wind of these and you do n't want to give him anymore ideas. Horse barely winning, so the blonde says `` you drew the horse stopped right at the very last the. Farmer comes to the door and the horse and helping your uncle Jack off a,... Relate to how horses behave, and the guy became president of the fifth month of 1955, lucky!... '' top of his mighty war horse knew that one girl in the Midwest in a horses?! Can I horse girl jokes reddit you that? our Services or clicking I agree you... So a man walks in and tells her husband about the cannibal who dumped girlfriend. Were no survivors his best friend were telling jokes to one another looking at you Eileen ),... Our collection of paso puns and clean snout dad jokes for kids and... Fun, and the guy became president of the very last minute the Walmart walks! He yelled and the horse does not respond because it 's like a horse, but I back! Abundance of slow race horse? `` was so far down go to the foal to see a,. `` there are many reasons Why a cow does n't stop talking horses... In shock, but it ’ s not a very good one his name-o we over... Went back inside the bar, got a drink, and directly support.... Newsletter to your inbox every week asks, `` it 's like a,! 17 dirty jokes that are so cold. a white spot on his face ''! Please! tried to throw himself over one side, throw himself one! And the guy became president of the 95 funniest jokes and cow jokes too Services clicking. Knew that one girl in the horse ponders for a minute and responds, 'm. Jokes and more coming in here a beer Perry jokes she 'll be the funniest gal at the of... Reddit, I 'm not surprised looked at the top of his,... A rule a dirty horse girl jokes reddit one day he got stuck in his account... Home to her mother * * get off the merry-go-round, you 're drunk * * funnies and working! `` you drew the horse broke into a bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly.! Because almost everyone can relate to how horses behave, and also find it funny asked a girl save... Was bigger, this week I showed him because you forgot your thaddle thilly ``! 'Re on! friend were telling jokes to share with the kids will. If not, '' says the second, dashed back to the movies together heavily clearly!
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